Carrier: UNITED AIRLINES

Flight #: 161

Route: EWR-GLA, Newark to Glasgow

Three words to describe staff: Helpful, chatty, karaoke-threatening.

Seat spaciousness: Cramped window seat. Hemmed in by a bickery Canadian.

Seat comfort: 6 out of 10. Not the most comfortable overnight of my existence, but not too ghastly.

Edibles/drinkables: They forgot my gluten-free meal, so I ate three or four squishy hot carrot batons and grumbled a bit.

Age ambience of craft: Hmmm, I didn’t really notice, so presumably nothing special. In-flight entertainment options were plentiful with at least 123 TV options. There was even an episode of one of my favourite shows, Meet the Sloths!

Fellow passengers: Mostly Scots, plus a cross, loud, bickery Canadian hipster type lady being taken home by meek Scots boyfriend to meet his family for Christmas. My, what a lot of things she was about to refuse to be a part of over the holidays!

Things I enjoyed: Views of Manhattan as we took off. The crew lady who made jokes about doing in-flight karaoke. Sadly, there was no in-flight karaoke, but there was a very odd flight safety video that made me question many things. Why are they using an origami plane? Could I really bring a tray of loose melons on board as my “personal item”? Why is that flight attendant chatting to a kangaroo? I didn’t blame the kangaroo when it bit him.

Things I did not enjoy: Bickerers. The turbulence that prevented me using aerial restrooms for some hours of the flight. The lack of sky-high karaoke.